About the thief

As I sit here, lying on my sofa, wrapped in my electric blanket and unable to move my legs for the second time in one week, I got to thinking about all the things fibromyalgia has taken from me... so here are 5.

1. My social life

Anybody that knows me well knows how much of a social butterfly I am, I've even tried to keep this up whilst holding down a full time job as a teacher. However, social events are becoming increasingly difficult for me to attend and so many times I have to cancel on friends and family because I am just not well enough to function. Luckily, I have the most supportive and understanding friends and family who are very sympathetic.

Beckii 0 Fibromyalgia 1

2. Running

I used to love running as a child but stopped at the age of 14 as my chronic pain began to set in. Last year, I set myself a target to run again and was determined that I would get back into it and love it, no matter how hard I was going to have to fight against my own body. In September last year, I ran my first half marathon and I've never been more elated with any achievement. This time, I beat my own body.

Beckii 1 Fibromyalgia 1

3. My energy

It is said that people with fibromyalgia use up 5 times the energy that a person without fibromyalgia would use to complete the same task. Every single day I feel like I am running on no energy - my battery life is constantly at 25%. Every task is simply exhausting because I'm having to fight my body to do it. However, I still try and get out and do as much as I can, no matter how much energy I have, because I can't just sit at home and wallow in my fibromyalgia pity.

Beckii 2 Fibromyalgia 1

4. My plans

As mentioned above, I am a social butterfly and I do like to fill my time with plans and things to look forward to (who doesn't?!). I plan to go travelling next year and I'm having to carefully consider my fibromyalgia into this plan as my body may just suddenly decide that I won't be going anywhere one day. I find it difficult to accept that sometimes my body just really needs a day in bed as my mind does want to be active all the time. Just on Friday night, I had to cancel plans as my body really needed a night in.

Beckii 2 Fibromyalgia 2

5. My mood

Whilst the majority of the time I try to maintain a positive attitude and see my chronic illness as just a part of my life and myself, there are times when I feel so completely overwhelmed by the daily battle. There are times where I would give anything just to be well, to not have to spend another day in bed or curled up on the sofa or to not have to take a range of tablets for breakfast and before I go to bed each day. These moments do seem to be fleeting, although I'm really struggling with the cold weather at the moment.

Beckii 2 Fibromyalgia 3

I write this post not to wallow in my own self pity, or to present the idea that nobody else has their own struggles, as I'm sure everyone does, but to demonstrate that whilst my feed can seem very positive, behind the scenes, it is not all so rosy. (I also apologise for that insanely long sentence 😂🙄🙈). I think social media, in whatever form it is used, shows only the things that you want people to see, and whilst I know that people don't always want to see the struggles that people have to go through, I think it is important to know that you are not alone.